Goodbye 2010

It's 2011.

In the new year coming up, I'm going to follow my dreams.
I am going to step out of my comfort zone more often and
stop doubting myself and my abilities.
I am going to love my babies and my family and my friends the best I know how.
I am going to become a happy, shiny person and I'm taking my friend Steph with me.
I am going to make this year better than the last because I am
putting it out there in the world and being positive.

I wish everyone peace, health, love and happiness.

“The new year is a time to boldly take the
first steps toward your best future.”

- Oprah



Happy New Year, my lovely friends!!!

Celebrating 31 years

 Celebrating birthdays...

Charlie beltin' a 90's song with me that, for the life of me, I can't remember the name to right now.

{The baby has a daring streak. She decided she wanted to see if she

could fly off the arm of my couch onto the stark white tile below.

The bruise and black eye ensued... }

 Exploring the Gaslamp Quarter on a sunny but COLD day.

Charlie wasn't getting what he wanted (His own sundae) so he cried in the corner.

He even went as far as to sneak away when I wasn't looking to go sit

in the front of the store and pout. Imagine my heart attack when I couldn't find it.

and to cap off this whirlwind of two days...?

How about a little bit of tradition.

Walking the canals in Naples.

(Long Beach)

I am so grateful for the love I have in my life. I always have someone
to turn to when I need it and I know that not everyone has that luxury.
I know I am blessed and I am lucky and I am loved.

 

Half-Circle Moments

I love when things come full circle.

I totally would have said that this was a full circle moment but I was graciously informed

that it was, in fact, not a full circle moment but could maybe be half-circle moment.

I was given this necklace by J when I had Kate.

I loved, loved loved the pink pearl and thought it was so beautiful.

I've since worn it to all special occasions.

We were heading to church on the 24th and wouldn't you know it, Kate's

dress was the exact same shade of pink and she pulled it out of my jewelry box.

She thought it was beautiful too and of course, she said a princess needed this necklace.

I was hesitant, but when she told me it was magic I let her wear it.

I told her that if she held it in her hand and shut her eyes tight, and sang a certain song,

(think Ariel when Ursula steals her voice) then she herself would become a princess.

When I clasped the necklace around her neck as she

held her hair up... nothing could've wiped the smile off of that girls face...

and then when I looked over at her sitting on her daddy during church and

I saw that she had her eyes closed and was holding the tiny pink pearl in her

palm with her fingers firmly closed over it and was mouthing "Ah ah ah..." to herself?

Well, nothing could've wiped the smile off of my face.

Isn't this dress just gorgeous??

So yeah, I maybe I was wrong about the full circle.

Maybe it will be a full circle when I give it to Kate when she has her first baby girl.

But for now? I'm callin' it a half circle moment.



My 31st...

I turned 31 on the 19th.

31

I just don't know how I got here and still don't feel like an adult.

I feel like a kid trying to be an adult most of the time.

Like I'm running to try to catch up to all the other grown-ups

but they're always 10 steps ahead of me and I can't catch my breath.

Like my house will never look like those beautiful rooms in the Pottery Barn magazine,

at least one of my kids will always have an all-out tantrum inclusive of at least 3 I hate you's

right when I'm trying to look like the mom who has it all pulled together,

like I will never have a home cooked dinner on the table every single night of the week...

like I still forget every year to pay my tags on time and now am stuck without a

driver's license because I'm a putz and didn't take care of renewing it in time

for it's expiration on my birthday.

Like my pile of laundry in the corner of the hallway will be there for the rest of my life.

I used to get really weighed down by these things that I might never be...

This year has been quite a ride.

I've learned to see beauty in the little things. I've learned that no matter how

crappy your surroundings and circumstances are, they are not nearly

as important as the people in your life that you love and who love you back, unconditionally.

I've learned that it's ok to not be all those things that I feel like I fall short on being.

I'm a good person. I try to be kind and loving. I try to give when I can and

I try to make those around me feel loved and important.

I've learned that that's what matters most.

Perfect rooms and laundry-less hallways can kiss my ass...

I've got 3 lively and lovely kids, yes-- who scream every now and then,

but they matter most right now and my house will stay perfectly clean

when they're grown and gone...

Most of all though, the most important thing that 

I've learned this year is that leaning on God can

get you through just about anything.

Because of work, my birthday came and went before I could blink.

I didn't even get a chance to blow out a single candle.

To my surprise, I was disappointed about that.

When I realized how much I used to love being sung to and

making a wish only I could know, a sweet hope buried deep in my heart,

as childish as that may be, I put a candle on one of Eric's

fancy Nancy snack cakes and made my wish.

Here's to more growth and lots of happiness in the new year...

maybe I'll finally start to feel like an adult.

"Heavenly Holiday"

The feature is up!!!

I love the Hostess with the Mostess and it's so fun seeing my girl up there!

Here is the full "Heavenly Holiday" feature Part 1 and Part 2 ...

So proud of J and my little Kate.

These amazingly gorgeous photos are by DrewB Photography...

you all should really check her out. Her work is breath-taking!

Frosty the Snowman Ballet

Kate's dance school only has one recital a year and it's in June.

So we haven't really had the chance to sit and watch the girls put on a real show yet.

They do work on a new ballet every month or so to coincide with the season or holiday coming up.

They've been working on the Frosty the Snowman dance for a while and since

tonight was her last class before Christmas, we got to watch it.

Very, very cute. If I wasn't so preoccupied with trying to make sure Ella doesn't

fall off the bench she's climbed on or tear out the plug to the TV in the waiting room

I would have probably sat there and cried my way through the whole show. 

But I did get to capture a few candid moments that make my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

This is Kate with her new favorite person... Katie.

She loves that they share a name. Kate told Katie that she loved her legwarmers.

Much to my embarrassment, Kate kept rubbing Katie's thigh because she liked the

feel of the tights Katie was wearing. How do I know this?

Well, only because she's done it to me before at church.

Kate and Katie are inseparable during class. It's very sweet.

My shy girl waiting for the snowman to show up...

 

Kate made herself comfy while waiting for the sun to melt Frosty

Sitting in the waiting room, looking at her through the thick glass window with all the other parents

reading their books or texting away on their Blackberries I have to stop myself from crying often.

I'm the crazy parent who takes a zillion photos from every conceivable angle so as to try

to catch her in every light and every position possible. I feel so lucky to have such sweet

little cupcakes to love...  Just at the right second, when she glances over to check if I'm watching

her and she sees that I am and her whole face lights up with pride and I catch the smile and the wave on film? That is just icing on the cake. With sprinkles.

And then I turn and snap even more photos of Ella coloring on the bench instead of

taking the crayon away and telling her not to color the bench

when really I'm just glad she's not standing on it threatening to jump off with her sly little smile.

Ella wants in on the dancing. She wants to be in there twirling with Kate so much

that if she could she'd burst right through that window and proudly take a seat next to her big sister.

She stayed glued to the window for 5 whole minutes watching Miss Jessica read a story to the girls.

When the girls took a water break, Ella saw an opportunity and ran into the dance room.

I thought she would go straight to a mirror and see herself twirl but instead,

much to my delight, she beelined it straight for her sister and crashed into her with

the fiercest hug she could manage. They really love each other. Times like these just

help to reinforce the fact that I'm doing something right here. I did good. I'm DOING good.

The pride I feel for these girls is almost too much to bear.