My 3 Hearts

I had a fun shoot with my babies the other day.

There were some tears and I tripped over a curb

and almost broke an arm but I think it went relatively well...

The Essence of a Boy

I am well into the home stretch of my Freshman year in college.
It's a little surreal. I did it. I got through the first year. It seemed so daunting
in the beginning. I felt overwhelmed and scared that I would fail.
I love how college has become a normal word in my home.

"Where's Ma?" - "Oh, she's at her college."
or "What are you doing, Ma? Your college homework?"

It's pretty amazing.

For my photo class this semester I had the privilege of
being able to do a documentary shoot of my mom and her sickness.
It was touching, raw and funny all at the same time.
You know your mom has a great attitude when you have to
tell her every once in a while during the shoot to "look sick and stop smiling."
I'm not ready to share that shoot, though.

But I do have a fun one that I can share.
I had to do a project called the essential portrait.
Basically, I had to capture the essence of a person through a portrait.

I chose my boy.
Capturing the essence of Charlie was easy.
He is boy. He loves to play, he always
has dirty fingernails no matter how hard I try for him not to,
he has boyish freckles that I've loved for years.
He cries whenever he does homework.

Playful, pensive, sensitive and witty.
That's the essence of Charlie...

Grandma's Strength

People rarely think to take photos in times that aren't the happiest.

Usually, we only want to remember the good times. That's completely understandable.

I'm wired differently, though. I cope and deal with any big thing that

happens in my life through my "work", for lack of a better word. 
I take photos. I express myself that way. It helps to put things
into words for me when I can't find them. 

I remember people asking me how I could be of sound mind enough

to photograph Ella's surgery (here) before and after it happened.
It was a big deal to me. A big event in her little life... so I documented it. 
I am so glad I did. I am glad I have those photos of my girl 
and my parents with her. I have photographic memories of a really
special bond she shares with my dad and I will always be truly grateful for that. 

The way I handle my mom's sickness is no different.
I make it a point to snap a photo whenever I see her. 
Especially when my kids are there. It may not be the most joyful
thing to remember, but I know that when I look back upon 
these images I will be incredibly glad that I documented these moments.

Life is about more than trips to Disneyland and award ceremonies.
The moments in between, the ones that shape who we are and who
we will become, the ones that shake our cores and wake us up to the
realities around us... those should be given importance too. 

 

 

 
These are the moments I will look back on.
The photos of her strength gained from her family and her faith.
They will make me smile and maybe cry.
And I will be glad I have them.

 

The Girls

I don't know what I was thinking when I signed up to be a college
student last Fall. Things in my life were so much less complicated and
it didn't seem like it would be this much work... I was so wrong.

This week, I have a Psych midterm and it's kicking my butt.
That textbook has been my constant companion everywhere I've been
for the last 2 weeks! I sometimes feel like it shouldn't be this hard.
Juggling it all makes it all that much harder. But the stubborn girl in me,
the one who wants to prove that I can do this and show everyone
who thought I couldn't, that I can. And I will.

Saturday, textbook in hand, I set out to bring Charlie to Mark's
house so that I could study. As I was leaving, my two nieces,
Angie and Julianne asked if they could come to lunch with me and my girls.
I couldn't say no. I never get the chance or the time to spend time
with them and I knew that my girls would adore it too.

We ended up at Ruby's.

And then, crazy me... I thought it would be fun to take them to the
beach. It was overcast and gloomy outside. The girls promised not to
go in the water past their knees. That didn't happen.
But I'll tell you what did happen. I heard giggles and belly laughs.
I saw joy on those faces. 

I sat on the beach and held my psych book in my lap. I went there
with every intention to study but the feeling that this was a good thing
to see and that I should appreciate every second of the cousin memories
that were being made right in front of my eyes won over the studying.

I'll be successful in school. I may doubt that at times but in my heart, I know it.
I have a dream to achieve and I want it badly enough to keep at it.

Taking the time to bring my girls to the beach only makes the journey to that dream all the sweeter.

8

 This freckled boy is a dynamic one. He plays on so many 

sides of my emotions lately and definitely keeps me on my toes. 

This kid makes it tough to be his mom sometimes. 

He's too smart for his own good. And stubborn. 

Stubborn like his mama. 

He is funny and he loves to laugh. He loves to eat.

{Charlie likes to be alone when watching TV. He runs screaming like you would expect to see in the movies when you even mention that there is a bug anywhere near where he is,  arms waving and all. He has a tiny lisp with his S when he is feeling insecure. Even if he has a napkin right in front of him, the sleeve of his shirt will be used to wipe food off of his face. He loves home, the mere mention of a road trip will elicit immediate whines from him. He has a fear of getting his fingernails cut. 

He hides snacks in his bed so that he can eat them when I'm 

not watching. He thinks I have no idea that he does this.

I do and I think it's kind of sweet. He loves to dance.

He has found a strong love for his guitar.}

I never want to forget these things. They may not be a part

of his personality forever, but for now, at 8... they make up

the sweet, crazy boy he is and I never want to forget them.

We celebrated 8 with his friends at small hockey party in the locker room of our local ice rink. He loved that it was different and was very precise about what he did and did not want at his party. He even went with Jackie to pick out his decor and 

made his own list of invitees.

___________________________________________

On the actual day of his birthday, he got to invite 

his best friend Mark to Chuck E. Cheese.

I hate this place. It's a black hole for money.

Ella puts 3 tokens in every machine and they only

require 1. She has a meltdown every time she doesn't win the 

jackpot on the wheel of fortune. EVERY. TIME.

 

 Not to mention that this place is a petree dish

for germs and diseases. I am still quite convinced

that Charlie caught Scarlet Fever from this place when

he was 5. But they love it. A lot. 

So we go.

 

Exhibit A.

First two photos are of the jackpot winners.

The 3rd, Ella... not so much. Meltdown ensues.

8.

The girls were so excited to give Charlie their birthday gifts.

Almost better than receiving gifts.

And Charlie's reactions were priceless.

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I'm loving 8. It's tough but he is a joy to talk to.

It is a distinct pleasure to be able to raise this boy

and to help guide the man that he will be.

I am excited for his future. It's bright.

Happy birthday, my beautiful, smart boy.

I love you more than the stars in the sky.