"Never give up..."

I've read back on my blog and I seem to have the bad habit of only blogging about the good times, the funny ones and the sweet moments. I guess you could thank my mom and dad for that one because they taught me to not air my "dirty laundry" in public. Here's what I figure; everyone wants to hear and be there for the good stuff...right? Well, as any mom (any person really) can tell you, life isn't always comprised of good stuff. We all have our weak moments. Our sad and depressed ones too... life happens. I believe those moments should be shared and celebrated as much as the happy ones because they help make us who we are and who we will become.
Well, these last couple of weeks have been that way for me. I've kind of lost my way and have been trying to get back to a place where I'm thriving and happy. I'm a big worrier and it holds me back sometimes.

At 4am a few days ago, I couldn't sleep ONCE again! - I really think I'm an insomniac - I had too much on my mind and I just could not relax for the life of me. I'd cleaned the house, I'd balanced our bank account, I'd looked over Facebook a million times... feeling a little crazy and desperate in my sleep-deprived state, I was pacing up & down my kitchen, while worrying of course,  and something caught my eye.  I had recently made up a set of family rules for us. Something concrete that the kids could see and know what is expected of them. Guidelines to live by. As a reminder, I'd framed them on our kitchen wall. Well, at that single desperate moment, the one rule my eyes singled in on was this one... "Never give up."

Suddenly, I felt a release and the phrase "Let go and let God" never rang more true to me. I couldn't help fix anything with my worry. I could stay up all night brainstorming on how to fix the worlds problems but it would only be detrimental to me and my kids. Our quality of life had been suffering and that made me upset. They deserve better. I DESERVE better. My husband deserves better. So, I marched myself straight to bed and lo and behold, fell asleep within 10 minutes.

When I start to find myself creeping back in that direction again (and I often do), I tell myself this... "Don't give up, just let it go and it will work itself out." Does it always work? No. But it does make life more bearable and in that instant I allow myself to focus on what's important.


Here's the blog entry I was talking about...
Gosselin Family Rules